Revenge of the '00s

A list of my 31 favorite horror movies from the last ten years (more or less). Order is deliberate but still somewhat loose; I didn't agonize over the rankings too much. And some quality flicks got edged out due to not being "horror" enough for me, e.g. Trollhunter, which I completely loved.



31. High Tension (2003)
It's hard to decide which is a better title, High Tension or Switchblade Romance, from the UK release. Pic pays deliberate homage to classics like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Last House on the Left (and boasts a plotline lifted wholesale from the Dean Koontz potboiler Intensity), but it also heralds the arrival of a new, transgressive French school firmly rooted in the native guignol tradition, defined by films like Inside and Martyrs. High Tension is actually a terrible, terrible mess, and not just because of all the blood: the nonsensical twist suffers from a fatal lack of internal consistency, and delivers a deathblow to the entire movie. It does exactly what a twist shouldn't do, making repeated viewings an exercise in frustration--but it's such a teeth-grinding thrill ride that it's impossible to write it off.




30. The Mist (2007)
I'll admit that The Mist has problems: too many of the Things from Dimension X are just oversized bugs, and Thomas Jane is characteristically wooden as the hero. But this is still a very worthwhile weird tale. Some of the critters, like the beast pictured above, are truly awesome, and Jane's failure to become a real boy is offset by the rest of the generally excellent cast, particularly Marcia Gay Harden as the bloodthirsty Mrs. Carmody. The creatures are actually secondary; in the classic tradition, the real horror...is man. (Or woman, in this case.) A lot of people seem to hate the ending, which I don't get at all--I think it's perfect, and far superior to the typical Stephen King fizzle-out from the original short story. This can also be viewed as Frank Darabont's dry-run for The Walking Dead, featuring as it does cast members Jeffrey DeMunn (Dale) and Melissa Suzanne McBride (Carol).




29. A Horrible Way to Die (2010)
A Horrible Way to Die divides people like a meat clever to the top of the head. The camerawork alienates: everything is close up and often sliding in and out of focus, in a manner that goes far beyond the faux-documentary/found footage style. It's definitely jarring at first, but you settle into it as the film goes on, and it very deliberately mirrors the movie's central theme: sometimes we can't see what's right in front of us. But what really distinguishes A Horrible Way to Die is its unassuming naturalism; it's hard to say more without giving too much away, but AJ Bowen and Amy Seimetz's performances will stay with you long after the credits roll. This is a real life horror movie that's scary in a very different way than most on this list--and in some respects, it's much more frightening.




28. The Last Exorcism (2010)
The Last Exorcism would've scored much higher if it didn't, like High Tension, crap out in the last act. While the ending doesn't negate everything you've just seen the way that High Tension's does, it is completely at odds with the rest of the movie, which is grounded in realism and ambiguity. This exorcism eschews gruesome makeup or CGI splatter, and it stays spooky because of its intimate, documentary style and a devious sense of uncertainty akin to Rosemary's Baby. If the pic hadn't lost its nerve in the final moments, The Last Exorcism would've been one of the standout horror movies of the decade; instead, it's just a very good one. As far as I know, studio interference didn't cause the climactic balls-up, but the result feels very much like The Exorcist Part III: a savvy, effective chiller marred by a ham-fisted ending mandated by the suits. Still, it is very much worth seeing, and special kudos to Ashley Bell for turning in such a feral performance without any special effects. Sequel's in the works, for better or worse.




27. 28 Weeks Later (2007)
This one is James Cameron to the first movie's Ridley Scott. 28 Days Later was a fresh, surprising piece of zombie revisionism that (unlike Alien) nonetheless suffered from uneven pacing and a weak third act, and 28 Weeks Later is in every respect a better, bleaker, bloodier movie. In contrast to the dreamy music video spirit of the first (all due respect to Mr. Boyle), this is a brain-gnawing, machine-gunning rollercoaster. But the larger scale doesn't stop it from being scarier than its predecessor as well, with the heart-stopping opening serving notice. It's also a great "late" zombie tale in the same vein as Day of the Dead, where the brute struggle for suvival becomes tinged with existential misery. And now that the sequel's mired in developmental limbo, the obligatory cliffhanger ending is actually even more in keeping with that theme: this might be all there is.


And next time on Revenge of the '00s: nailguns, chavsploitation, pancakes, the old "military exercises gone awry", and a head on a stick.